Climbing four hundred and thirty six steps in the Duomo, my legs worked off a year of loneliness, of solitary days, and long, slow nights. Centuries had rubbed those stones smooth and easy underfoot, my fingers ghosting countless others' on the circling wall. This simple task: to arrive at the summit, look out over the bronzing tiles of Florence, absorbed everything. Heart, muscles, breath and focus all trained on this one endeavour. Here, now, just climb; climb up in shafts of Italian light to the very top. Emerge into May sunshine with a beating heart and eyes filled with wonder. Yes, life surges into life again - look up, look out, and let Firenze days wash your slate clean.
Decidedly not dancing, nor slipping gracefully beneath a low bamboo on white sand. No, this is chilled lacuna, with little flex and less shimmy to be had. It started when you let me drop – abrupt unclasping. Adieu sweetheart, it’s over. Free fall is a fast and loose tumbler – no safety net and never a hand to hold on tight. So, while yesterday dissolves and tomorrow can’t pull focus, I’m tacking hard into a breeze that hasn’t filled yet. At the mercy of westerlies, doldrums and force tens, I’m high and dry with the pole star playing hide and seek. Arms akimbo, two palms upturned in mute astonishment.
Regaining balance, hope sieved from scant materials, this early morning call of the waves offers more than groins and seaweed. Before reaching the dunes, a lush temptation. This quiet spread of green and violet, buttercream and crystal, reels me in. Squelchy under foot, but it's July and the sun will burn it dry within the hour. Voices drift from the links, tug for an instant, until, soaring above the chat, a skylark - yes, ascending! Who wouldn't smile? Turning seaward now, it's Wimbledon colours - clouds of meadowsweet and spiking betony. Little blues in silent syncopation weave their morning rounds, while memory stabs beneath the soft flesh of out and about. Flush with joy and stung with days beyond recall, a pause. Meadowsweet and betony - a ballad of remembrance. And slow, slow promise.
Coronavirus seeps through thoughts
and plans; and on this sunny day, she’s
wearing a halo of daisies. Another
bulletin: social distance, pub closures,
empty food aisles, more hand washing.
So she cycles the towpath, a yellow
scarf unfurling in her wake. Allow space –
yearning for a hug, a handshake, a joke
shared on the same breath. Later, Apps
work their magic and images spring up,
bring us closer around this worrying
world. Sun warms forsythia, draws May
blossom and a blur of fresh green on the
weeping willow. Further on, swans are
canoodling, making neck hearts, teasing
us with their proximity. Mothers Skype
for all we’re worth, exchanging long-distance
love and childhood stories. Present in the
same time; space-walking. Tulips arrive,
messages to spread a picnic glow, al fresco
blessings: safe and well, have sons to miss,
grand children to wonder with, and music
to move to. Abundance in everything that
matters. And when we flick the switch to
normal (if we do), will we remember
the real treasure – and hug it close?
Pebbles make it hard going; grind, chink
and chime beneath our feet. It’s blazing;
our shoulders bare to this late summer
gift of a day. Drawn to the furthest stack,
we trudge on, eyes alive to gulls and buttery
cliffs. We bear trickles of sweat, marbled,
long for sight of a seal, or dolphin; a rare
sea-bird. Yet after all, we’re not disappointed
to draw a blank, and sink onto this shingle
bed. We’ll sky gaze, wallow in warm stones,
and curve our eyes to a bare-faced sky.
In quickest ink they boomerang the sky
their darting letters signing winter’s end.
We bounce between two counties on the fly;
a back and forth encounter – months slip by.
Our seasoned eyes look up and apprehend
– in quickest ink they boomerang the sky!
Returning year on year, we scan and sigh,
attuned by early May, our hopes ascend.
We bounce between two counties on the fly,
from yours to mine – hello, you’re here, goodbye.
The wheels are turning, can’t at all pretend –
in quickest ink they boomerang the sky.
Above the trees and eves, they scissor, cry;
then disappear, along with our weekend.
(We bounce between two counties on the fly.)
I’m dizzy now with here and there – let’s tie
or cut the ribbon, gifting journey’s end.
In quickest ink they boomerang the sky;
we bounce between two counties – on the fly.
You made me –
stitched summer cotton, edged
with scarlet bias binding – every
inch a love song.
Baked strawberry plate-cake,
sugar-sprinkled, oozing
July sweetness.
Bought my first red shoes,
shared the skipping joy
of standing out.
After bed-time, sewed tiny
cushions, curtains – secret
Christmas stash. Home.
Wrapped me round with
belief that, yes, all would
again be well, despite
transgressions. Shouted
wings for my feet the year
I found I could hurdle, run,
jump, win. You knew.
Showed me paper patterns –
Style and Butterick –
to fashion colours, cuts
and flair to raise the roof.
Composed a laughing
score for childhood, teens
and dreams beyond those
level fenland fields.
You blew the air I breathed
big, widened skies, hope and
futures. Set my sails.
You also made me buckle one
stark morning. Lost without you.
You’d made me rise, complete
the pattern, taste each gorgeous
mouthful, sweet, sharp, warm.
You made me
live.
Early in the New Year, we walk out
above Torre Abbey, crossing fields
of green corduroy. We follow the
ribbed curve towards the copse – young
oaks, bare beneath the winter blue,
inviting light-limbed climbers. Beyond
the witches’ pond, our first buzzard
watches – for rabbits perhaps? We
amble on, skirting the field’s western
edge, stopping only to look up. An aircraft
buzz – more high summer than winter
and the only sound we hear. Until, wide
wings crack open on a slow glide behind
the hill. Turning, we climb left, scanning
for another. Instead, a pheasant sits frozen
mid field. For minutes, it’s motionless
and we wonder. Your dog dodges left, but
to the right a second buzzard swoops our
path – silent, mud brown, leading the way.
Climbing the double stile, we circle back,
glimpse at our feet the first primrose,
its face pale in the gloaming.
Silent rain washes the near view –
even swans have put their heads
to bed. White questions marks on
the tea-brown Exe. November’s fall,
sodden beneath baring branches
is quietly lifeless; seeping futures into
sparkling grass. Yesterday, amber,
bronze and burnished woodlands
rattled their canopies, showering
leaves. Sycamore, oak, birch and
willow – scents of the year darkening
underfoot. Closer to home, a flash of
Cyclamen, and overhead, blue chinks.
Our fingers touch. Another ladybird
crawls up the pane; and the rain stops.
Fulsome, this final summer
moon, setting at sunrise.
Silver platter – cool as sliced
cucumber in a picnic Pimms.
Nostalgia wells with September
mists, sculling down the Exe –
Keatsian, mellow, with a pinch
of frost on promise. Turning
circles is cosmic; and daily.
beckykilsby 