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Far out at sea all night*

January 27, 2013

eyes

four a.m is speckled grey, the satellite rocks
hollow on the roof and armies of surly doubts
marshall in all five corners.

half lucid, my story-board mind is racing-
grids and charts unravel, wriggle free
in the tropical updraught;

with skirts vertical, over my head in less
than Marilyn fashion, arms, hair akimbo,
the pre-dawn dregs jump with

rampant unicorns and jiggling fug –
limbs eidered too tight and eyes skinned,
pickled insomniac pink

………
*The title of this piece is taken from ‘Wind’ by Ted Hughes

…….

Eyes wide open for tonight’s Open Link Night over @dVerse Poets Pub: http://dversepoets.com/

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24 Comments
  1. hair akimbo…

    rampant unicorns and jiggling fug… wonderful phrases/lines. Fizzing with poetic thought and 4am fable

  2. I guess we’ve all been there haven’t we?
    Thanks for your comments Luke, always good to hear what you think…

  3. ha. thi sis the moment in the middle of the night when my wife finds me groping and making a racket trying to find a pencil before i lose the verse running through my head…smiles…really cool language in those last 2 stanzas becky

    • haha… you too brian? I’m highly skilled at writing in the dark… Claudia’s got the best idea tho πŸ™‚

  4. ha…great use of language here…these words seem to be night-active sometimes…i have my iPhone lying next to my bed (because it’s my alarm clock) but of course works well to write down night verse as well without disturbing anyone…smiles

  5. Wow, did you make that photo? !! Gorgeous.
    Lush words to follow.

  6. Laurie Kolp permalink

    The best insomnia piece I’ve ever read!

  7. So much energy and clever imagery here – and the desperation of that hour and state – super well=conveyed. k.

  8. i hate being kept awake by rampant unicorns
    but i except that hanging out in the kind of places
    that i do its par for the course πŸ˜€

    the pattern is note perfect
    and the images are set in dreamy context
    with odd aggrevation, as an offical insomniac
    i know this feeling, or knew it . . .

    i read rather than sleep,
    which cuts my life expectancy in half
    but makes me ready available for
    unicorn booty call

    par for the course . . .

    great PO becky πŸ™‚

    • I’m amazed to hear this cuts the mustard for a signed-up insomniac… and chuffed that you have unicorns in the corners too.. jiggling. Cheers Arron, really appreciate all your feedback.

  9. Beautifully compiled set of images.

  10. your last two lines nail this one in for me. from intense and thoughtful to getting real with the… tightly eidered limbs and skinned eyes. great edgy and resonant lines.

  11. Great! Thanks Jane.. happy to hear the scrape and edge are coming across.

  12. “less than Marilyn fashion” Such excellent descriptions, unique and relatable.

  13. My favorite phrase? Storyboard mind. SO relatable!

  14. Oh my goodness that last stanza! πŸ˜€

  15. Thanks, Beth, Kim, darkangel – always appreciate your feedback and that you take time to visit.

  16. I guess if I can use your response to Luke as a prompt I would say that no, we have not all been there- and that is what I like about your poetry, it’s unique and you move about like a swallow or a dragonfly- well who doesn’t like watching a swallow or a butterfly- the story- contained within.

    • I’m very happy to hear you are undaunted by the erratic dip of a swallow – even better that you find something equivalent here. Made my day! Thanks Daniel…

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