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Took Her Nowhere

May 11, 2012

you rubbed shoulders in the dole queue
signing on, first summer
back from college –

she, twitching such ennui
you felt the pent in her back, impatient
for skies that didn’t flatten.

she saw a blue in your eyes as close
to the Med as she would get that July,
bound by low jinking horizons –
blown Fenland.

your 2CV (exotica worth grabbing in this level drab)
roof down between angular dykes,
curved promise; and yes, the sun beat down.

shortest shorts, brown hips turning your way,
muscles to flex and a mouth
fathoming Bowie’s Young Americans.

fresh fires lit, lists ticked,
tricks learnt – bare naked
puppies, solar, rambunctious.

it was a flick of the light
black and white –

you’d craved potatoes fried
like your mum did them

and felt the dint of the pan – flung –
throbbing your foot
in monochrome.

And she? A lone walk home,

the cliché
of being nineteen
and wanting skies that wouldn’t flatten.

 

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27 Comments
  1. edhart7 permalink

    this certainly saddened up my day…i live it when a write invites me down its steep incline faster than i could have any thought about style or form and i arrive at the bottom branded by its image

    • ‘saddened up your day’.. sorry about that Ed.. strange to say I didn’t really think of this one as sad. Thanks for your great comment.. thrilled to hear the flow swept you along.. did have a couple of sticky bits in the making…

  2. fresh fires were lit, lists ticked,
    tricks learnt – bare naked
    puppies, solar, rambunctious.

    it was a flick of the light
    black and white –

    nice…really cool flow through out and you def took us down the rabbit hole as well with little flashes that pinched emotions…

  3. hypercryptical permalink

    Excellent flow Becky, wonderful imagery that led to the desire to read it over and over again – love it!

    Anna :o]

  4. *I like the way that you have formatted this, it helps me to understand. I’ll be honest and say that a lot of this seems like vernacular from another planet, but- it is incestuous &: whatever you are selling- i want to buy some. This poem is like the pretty girl from out of state you have never seen ‘nothing like, her before. &; there are enough bits in it that a meat and potatoes guy can appreciate and approve. Tricks in it too.

    I love it.

    • ‘vernacular from another planet’… it feel a bit like that to me too now.. 🙂 Seriously, it’s a fine line isn’t it? I wanted to frame some of that time and that place, even while knowing it might not mean too much to people not from that particular part of rural England… but hoped readers would hang in there.. at least to see what happened… and recognize that yearning for other skies.

      So, very happy to hear that you (who I do believe are not from rural England 😉 had enough to hang onto.. that’s just great to know. Thanks.

  5. *infectious.

    haha, how much do i wish i could edit that out! (me, i’m from another planet, lol).

  6. Shawna permalink

    I love the picture of that car, particularly with plants growing inside it.

    Smooth and delicious writing, as always, Becky. I love these sections:

    “she, twitching such ennui
    you felt the pent in her back, impatient
    for skies that didn’t flatten”

    “fresh fires were lit, lists ticked”

    “And she? A lone walk home,
    the cliché
    of being nineteen
    and wanting skies that wouldn’t flatten”

  7. ah nice…the 2CV and the VW beagle where the cars of the time..love how you paint the atmosphere..a bit sad about the lone walk home though…

  8. poemsofhateandhope permalink

    jinking horizons! bestest!…..this was full of youth and the spirit of finding ourself amongst the music and the fashions…expressing yourself…asserting yourself in the world….great write Becky! took me back to my uni days

    • haha! I’m still in my uni days Stu! Some of us never grow up… Really happy to hear your feedback and the kind of atmosphere and feelings this conjured for you. Cheers!

  9. Looking back at nineteen did anyone know where they were going then? Beautiful Becky, watching out for those rabbit holes mind 😉 x

  10. hedgewitch permalink

    For me this sizzles up the usual mordant angst of youngish love gone wrong with a little electric juice and a lot of atmosphere. I got a clear picture of both protagonists and their divergent points of view, so mysteriously invisible to the participants always. Also, nice Bowie reference.

    • Great to hear that, Joy… did take a few liberties with Bowie…the lyrics were too good to miss, even if this song was a few years earlier..

  11. Becky, I’m sure you’re aware by now that I am in love with your unique use of language, its glorious application so present here. 19 was such a turbulent, striving time in my life, a time spent willing a future entirely bigger than my past would seemingly allow that this one speaks straight to my heart (therefore I’ve afforded it a wide berth since first reading on FEPC :)) but rest assured it has settled in and made a home refusing to be forgotten.

    • I’m thrilled to hear that it resonates like that with you Anna. I was drawing on real incidents, real emotions and praying it would translate to real engagement for the reader 🙂 Thank you !

  12. Such a nostalgic piece this Becky. I think I probably mentioned this on the group but it has the feel of an arthouse movie. Adore those ‘jinking horizons’ – fabulous word choice. Great pic too!

    • Thanks Julie.. I’m delighted it feels arthouse to you. They always seem to frame difficult realities, meaningful looks and angst.. there was plenty of that going on. Yep, the pic was a lucky find.. close enough!

  13. So well written, Becky. Your images are so “crisp” and I really like that you wrote it in the 2nd person.

    • Thanks, Victoria.. especially on the stance. It was an experiment and I like the effect of addressing ‘you’ and talking of ‘she/her’

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