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Blind Spot

February 27, 2012

From a full-laden trellis –
crushed raspberry dazzle dripping
through the waffling overhead –
incessant cobalt and the flick
of rat-rustle.

on the great north road, wipers bat
away drizzled rivulets: shuffling
greys, parted. peripherally,
closer than I think,
the clatter of red.

months of processional monochromes
sucking breath in shallow
drafts; hours limp in
vacant eulogies, sliced
by citrus.

high noon haloes rhythmic shoulders,
sway and gulping anthems
in the park, ambient light-
glazed melody. splash
of digitalis.

off to the side,
jagging the corner of my eye
vapoured Braille
pulsars

ends of daze.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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26 Comments
  1. some really great visuals in this…razzberry dazzle over waffles? mmm i am hungry…ha…the high noon haloes stanza is my fav though…

    • haha… try reading after you’ve eaten Brian… πŸ™‚ Great to hear what you liked best…

  2. all together now “flick of rat-rustle”: my fave component of a top notch write – class πŸ™‚

  3. Wow- descriptions! So vivid- you created a scene, an image, so THICK with flowers- that’s the only way I can describe it – I was imagining the pollen smell as the day started to end. Beautiful work

    • Hi Stu… thanks for dropping in and leaving a pollen-trail of enthusiasm. Very much appreciated.

  4. another fine piece… the wordplay to finish brought a smile but it’s the descriptive passages that are so well-wrought here

  5. It’s all clear to me now, but I do love that this one can be read in more then one way, Becky. You’re really so skilled at selecting the perfect words/images to set off the reader’s mind. Sliced by citrus…yes.

    • Thanks, Em… plenty of room for manoeuvre in this one for sure. Glad you’re finding enough to get your imgaination going…

  6. You’ve painted a wonderful picture color, embedded in sounds that reflect your joy on the glories.

    • Thanks for your thoughts Chazinator… I’ve had such different responses elsewhere with some seeing only the dark aspects of peripheries.. So interesting.

  7. As a gardener this instantly set my pilot light to high–now all the burners are going, wanting the color you provide here so generously, as generously as summer, and which winter is so stingy with–my first bulbs are up, and they are such a tease. ;_) Lovely writing here Becky.

    • Joy, that is a lovely comment, thank you. I do sometimes feel the colours here in Dubai are super-rich and remember all too well the greys of an English winter. I can remember waiting for the first signs of spring.. like you with your bulbs… πŸ™‚

  8. hobgoblin2011 permalink

    Ooh, really cool piece Becky. Love the word/phrase choices, made for a quick flow, but not just speed, it sparkled as you read through. colors and movement are prominent, often carried in between the stanzas, offering a deeper connection. Excellent piece. enjoyed the read greatly. thanks

    • Thank you for this thoughtful comment.. delighted that you have a sense of movement and enjoyed the piece. Much appreciated.

  9. I think its the harshness of the contrast that makes the colors and motions here seem like a danger. Eros invades the will — taking one over in a sudden rush of wind — and springtime can be a similar assault, exploding out of the “monochromes.” The colors are dizzy neons here, overwhelming the speaker; there’s a note of threat in “crushed raspberry dazzle.” The eye isn’t quite ready for this, so the epiphany is almost shattering. But I read the welcome. – Brendan

    • Thanks, Brendan… this poem has sparked some really intriguing responses. I left quite a lot unspecified in the piece and love how each reader is filling the gaps. Yes, there are threats and promises.. and I suspect it might depend on the reader’s situation as to which feel most prominent when they read.

  10. Beautiful words, create beautiful images. This one dazzles; unique and colorful expressions! Very nice!
    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/almost-right/

  11. As you know Becky, this one took me on one heck of a journey when I read it on the board, from getting caught eating raspberries in the garden to watching lunar fractals. I adore it for its colour, flavour, touch, mood and the see-saw from dark to (en)light(enment). Sumptuously delicious.

    • Thanks so much, Julie… I’m thrilled to hear the places you went to with this one.. what more can a writer hope for, but that readers will be engaged? Blind spots can, after all, hide all kinds of possibilities..

  12. Dazzling wordplay and stunning visuals in this piece.

    Cheers,

    Mark Butkus

    • Thanks, Mark, that’s great. I had a very visual imaginative source for each of the stanzas, so pleased to hear that comes across.

  13. So pleased to read this again. Absolutely gorgeous.

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