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Waving and Drowning

February 6, 2012

In silent-movie semaphore
excited iris solar flares
are launching missions: truth or dare?

beneath the table’s linen lore
cacophony above the knee-
percussive shantung thermidor.

your words re-dressing naked air
in double-handed semaphore.


Semaphoring all you other poets and readers @dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night tonight.

From → Uncategorized

  1. I love this Becky

  2. ha…some playful sensuality in this…the above the knee…percussive shantung thermidor…is def my fav line…and the naked words…oo la la…ha

  3. no mixed messages there then Brian… happy to hear you caught the play.. 🙂

  4. Very clever … and nice word use; cacophony’s one of my all-time favourite words – well-done.

    • Thanks a lot… I must admit I’ve used cacophony in an early poem, but here, it’s use is quite differently, so I felt free to indulge.. 🙂

      • Shawna permalink

        That is a challenge, to refrain from overusing our favorite words.

  5. nice…is this an octain..? very cool form to choose for the text becky.. haven’t written one in a while….your words re-dressing naked air….hmmmmm…i like

    • Yes, Claudia.. another octain. I’m working on a series of octains on the theme of communication, so it’ll probably run forever.. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it….

  6. I love the wonderful rhythm, and those last two lines…perfect!

  7. very hot and lovely, smiles.

    How are you?
    Do you like challenges?
    Share your talent with us by writing for our theme today, or share a random piece of poetry.

    Hope to see you soon!
    Best wishes.
    Happy Creative Writing,

  8. hedgewitch permalink

    This is extremely cool in its subtle coding, Becky–I especially like shantung thermidor–novel, to say the least. ;_) And the echo with slight change in first and last lines works perfectly. Enjoyed it much, as always.

  9. This is absolutely delightful….. the rhyming sonata and sychronous rhythm of the last two stanzas absolutely took me away Becky! It’s a keeper!

  10. So much to love about the playful banter in this Octain Becky.

    Adore this line and all it’s teasing finery–

    are launching missions: truth or dare?

    The imagery in the third stanza is deliciously unforgettable.

    beneath the table’s linen lore
    cacophony above the knee-
    percussive shantung thermidor

    I’ll have what they ordered.

    Of course the creative shift in the refrain line has your signature stamp on it. This is going to be quite the collection of Octains. Look forward to them all.

  11. A steamy passionate write that DOESN’T leave me blushing like a pomegranate. You’ve got mad skillz with your pen, lady! Born to be poet!

  12. Thanks all for your support… always happy to hear your thoughts.. 🙂

  13. Another scintillating Octain in your communication series Becky. Love the nod in the title to Stevie Smith also. You move between form and free verse with such ease 🙂

    • Thanks, Julie. I’m glad it seems like ease 🙂 I feel like a pinball, but love both form and free.. bit of an adventure really.

  14. Shawna permalink

    I liked your framing, using “semaphore” in both the first and last lines.

    “beneath the table’s linen lore” … I do imagine a tablecloth could tell a story or two.

    I think this is my favorite line: “excited iris solar flares”

    • Thank you, Shawna. Have you tried an octain? I think the repetition of the first and final line (with subtle changes allowed!) allows some interesting effects.

  15. ‘words re-dressing naked air in double-handed semaphore’…oh my, those are the lines to be inspired by. awesome write, thanks for sharing 🙂

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