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December 20, 2011

resounding shards of slate
clatter in my mouth

impossible to say
the thing I think

it skitters, lizard-quick
asphyxiating on the brink

impossible to think
the thing I want to say

it fritters, popping on the hot potato plate
cindered summer hay

impossible to stay
the thought

it splatters, soufflé molten
ooze in ambient heat

impossible to sink
the thought
and say


From → Uncategorized

  1. Patsy permalink

    So this one I have printed out and put above my desk…….it is so very clever, makes me smile inside with comprehension.You have a real gift Becky – thank you.

  2. I adore this poem Becky, it’s so yummy, like a 4 course meal of all my favourite foods…I haven’t been over to Facials for a bit, so I expect it’s on there and been read by a few….Agree with Patsy, you have a real gift for conveying often abstract ideas in a way that is understood…a rare gift in my opinion..
    Absolute stunner of a poem. I like the photo too….perfect!

    • Thanks so much Avril…and it’s great to se you here.. first time in my blog? This is one of the very rare poems that wrote itself with only a couple of minor tweaks. Very happy to hear your response…

  3. nice….yes there are times the words just dont come out the way i want them to…and for better or worse i tend to hold onto them then…nice flow and dance in your words becky

  4. Yes sometimes they just don’t want to play with that which you want to say. But then sometimes if comes out better and sometimes worse, then all the cat wants to do is curse..haha

  5. Becky, there are so many wonderful words in this. It makes me want to pick it apart and use some of them for a wordle prompt. And they meld together into a great poem.

    • Thanks so much Victoria. This was a surprise.. it presented itself to me pretty much as it is here.. the irony.. 🙂

  6. So very much to admire here, Becky– I think I said this last week but you have a powerful sense of language which to me makes you a real poet. I love this line– it fritters, popping on the hot potato plate
    cindered summer hay — I like your clear drive for just the right imagery in this poem; it shows skill and commitment. xj

  7. Poems about the difficulty of saying something right are some of the most lucent examples of turning language on itself to get to the truth. There’s a scatter of pungent, shrill, loopy world here, all of it like the last door to get through that finally names something right. The difficulty of the going is the sweetness of almost getting there, which, I think, is the best we can manage. As Robert Frost put it, “Like a piece of ice on a hot stove the poem must ride on its own melting.” We have to shed so many conventions, selves, metaphors, drafts, to get there, and you always manage to carve a precise relic of the effort. Fine job, Becky. – Brendan

  8. ‘the sweetness of almost getting there..’ wonderful. Thank you Brendan.

  9. oh yes..if we only could find these perfect words which say exactly what we think and feel and want to bring across..think that’s what all writers struggle with all their life probably..maybe all kind of artists – be it painters or whatever..the felt gap between what’s in our mind and what comes out in the end… a very fine write becky.. and maybe you just found the perfect words for this

    • I agree Claudia.. words are always an approximation..thanks for your comments…very much appreciated.

  10. hedgewitch permalink

    i love this almost tortuous yet oh so simple piece–feeling and thought and word often seem like one of those spiral wind toys that revolve, with light chasing itself from top to bottom endlessly. This is very good writing, tense and well-selected word by word for maximum meaning. Good stuff.

    • haha.. that’s a great image hedge.. that’s certainly what I was trying to capture. Great to see you here.

  11. (lets not mess around here) dazzling brilliance! (BAM)
    in and out like a comment genie ((a puff of smoke))
    g o n e>>>>> 🙂

  12. wonderful rhyme and wordplay here.. dig it muchly

  13. 🙂 Thanks Luke.

  14. fantastic assonance – a bonus in light of the title 😉

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