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July 19, 2011

Despite sisterly propinquity:
silk-swathed, veil to veil,
silent breath exchange

Despite simple sympathy:
dual shoulder sway
quick-flexing elbows

Despite cultural consonance:
twinned Vuitton bags
towering Choo shoes

Despite clear congruence,
each girl

Not in gendered deference,
or silent prayer,
but utter subjugation:

mastered by must-have apps,
mistaking mutual craze
for sisterly propinquity.



Shared for dVerse poets 8th OpenLinkNight 6.9.11

From → Uncategorized

  1. wow. first the pic is crazy…and we are all slaves to our wants and desires, at times….or we can be if we let them rule our being…

  2. Very well-written because it’s honest and written with conviction.

  3. Okay — I’m one in a billion perhaps, but I’ve had my iPhone for almost 2 years now and have yet to download one ap. I’m serious!! I’m afraid 1 would lead to 100. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Wonderful poem!

    • Hi Jannie… believe it or not, I’m the same… my first app this week and I’m stopping there… haha.Thanks for your comments.

  4. Becky, marvelous use of propinquity, I often learn so much from you. There are so many fantastic lines and I loved the use of congruence, consonance, deference, unimpeded. The picture is perfect, your clarity astounds. Thank you.

    • Anna, thank you so much for your enthusiastic response. This was first foray into free verse and I enjoyed the flow.

      I so wished I had had my camera with me to snap the two ladies who inspired this poem

  5. Thought this brilliant…the image fantastic, the words even better. gadgets, gizmo’s and my Jimmy Choo’s! I am working on detachment…letting go of all this “stuff”…I admit I may be failing miserably, but…hey, I have recognized my faults, and am trying to improve! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • You made me smile Tash…. Dubai is world central for shopping – it’s the national pastime. I’m like you.. and must say I’ve accumulated less ‘stuff’ since I’ve been writing, so grateful for that! Appreciate your warm response. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Like the message here…..simplicity to me is best….your last lines are powerful:

    mastered by must-have apps,
    mistaking mutual craze
    for sisterly propinquity.

  7. Wild pic…! This is good work you’ve done โ€“ hereโ€™s mine:

  8. that pic is a trip – like this poem becky

    Not in gendered deference,

    this section is risky – i read it once and it works well – then again and it catches – its one of those combos hey?

    its smart though and the final stanza is fantastic

    cheers becky

    • Cheers.. got the drinks in? This was my first freeverse tryout… oh it’s all pretty new to me… lots to play with!
      Thanks for your comments Arron… happy you liked the tongue twisting combos… ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Wonderful pic as all have said. I have little problem with this, can turn my phone off with ease and haven’t dwl a single one app, lets see how long I can last..haha

    • haha… think some of us are holding back the tide while others have dived right into the maelstrom… just aren’t enough hours in the day any more. Thanks for dropping by Pat.

  10. sensational Becky both in terms of language (your word choices are always incredible) and the powerful message you have expressed… subjugation indeed.


  11. Have to think — and like — that your word choice of “each girl” is deliberately patronizing and willfully presages “utter subjugation.” That drumbeat of despites is highly effective, too. Nice!

    • Many thanks to you…. ‘drumbeat of despites’… might just have to borrow that one… royalties?

  12. big confession…. had to do on “propinquity.” Now that I have then I can say with some confidence and knowledge on the subject: cool poem! (Though the definition didn’t really define the poem for me – I already assumed the gals were close and loving…) and there was something coming between them, their love for Vuitton? Choos? (unmuddied of course * delightful that * “Who wants muddy choos?”) No. No, it was something else. Of course. Apps. That’s when the God-forsaken image of that incredibly disfigured cyborg woman came into play…… and so again…… cool poem! Overall? A+……..

    • haha… that’s what poetry does to you ! First met ‘propinquity’ in an Edna St Vincent Millais poem of the same name.. a beaut. Really enjoyed hearing your thoughts…

  13. such a wonderful poem and so truthful all the way to the strong ending lines

  14. Boy that last stanza really says it all. I often wonder what long-term issues might come of our new habits. Thought-provoking words and picture.

  15. hedgewitch permalink

    A clever, faintly disturbing image and a poem that goes even further in shattering complacency. Love the words employed and the fine emotional arrangement of them that turns them from a list into poetry.

    • Many thanks for dropping in… happy to hear your thoughts on lists and poetry.. lovely. I’m also wondering how the experience would be without the pic….

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